


snuggle buggy you're the one

by smoothniallsmooth



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Asshole Louis, Bottom!Harry, Car Sex, Crack Fic, Harry named their dicks, M/M, almost bathroom sex, and he named his dildos, and other body parts, blowjob, but louis loves him, does it count as road head, harry like cherry flavored lube, he's a strange lad, heated seats, hipster second hand store, judgy old ladies, just kinda dumb, louis forgets what a blowjobs called, they use song lyrics in real life, this is kinda short and crappy sorry, top!Louis, wait thats all the time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 17:34:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1752998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoothniallsmooth/pseuds/smoothniallsmooth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Can we get bunk beds?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"What would do if I went blonde?"</p><p>"Kick you out."</p><p>"I want a pet squirrel."</p><p>"Both of you can sleep outside."</p><p>"Kiss me."</p><p>"No."</p><p>"..."</p><p>"Maybe later."</p><p>or the one where Harry's a complete weirdo and Louis fucks him in the back of their car.</p>
            </blockquote>





	snuggle buggy you're the one

**Author's Note:**

> liz and I were just kinda fucking around with this she thought of the idea and we kinda just went from there hope you like it enjoy

"Can we get bunk beds?"

"No."

"What would do if I went blonde?"

"Kick you out."

"I want a pet squirrel."

"Both of you can sleep outside."

"Kiss me."

"No."

"..."

"Maybe later."

***

Kiss was an understatement. An hour later Louis had Harry pinned against the door of a bathroom stall in one of Harry's stupid hipster second hand stores with his knee trapped between his legs.

"Can I buy that plastic goose out there?" Harry asked, breaking the kiss.

"I'll buy it for you if you stick it up your ass," Louis panted in return, shoving Harry harder into the door and forcing their lips back together.

"But I want your cock up my ass." Harry whined, moving away from Louis' lips again.

"Then shut the fuck up," Louis hissed, sucking Harry's tongue into his mouth hopefully to make him do as he said.

"Not in a bathroom it's dirty we could get AIDS." Harry gasped, pushing himself into Louis.

"Are you serious? You're the one who dragged me in here," Louis said, nudging Harry's semi with his knee.

"Lets go to the car, the seats are heated and it smells nice." Harry stated, grinding into Louis' knee.

"You're shirt's half-unbuttoned, we've both got obvious hard ons, our faces scream horny, and you want me to walk through a store full of judgmental old ladies," Louis scoffed.

"Yeah," Harry groaned, practically riding Louis' leg. Louis pushed his knee further up against Harry's crotch, watching as the boy's eyes fluttered shut and a quiet whimper left his lips.

"You're so fucking lucky I love you." Louis growled, pulling away from Harry and hastily buttoning up the boy's shirt before dragging him out of the stall.

Harry shot him a goofy smile, adjusting his jeans to hide his erection the best he could as Louis did the same. Louis tightened his grip on the boy's hand and gave him one more hard kiss to the mouth before pulling him out of the bathroom and hurrying to the exit of the store.

They earned themselves a few strange looks, but no one committed a hate crime while they rushed the car, so that's a start.

Louis pushed Harry into the back seat of the car, shutting the door and getting into the drivers seat. Louis thrust the key into the ignition, moaning a bit because he wanted to be sticking something else into someone else, and he really needed to stop letting inanimate objects turn him on.

"Louis, you're supposed to be back here," Harry said, tugging off his pants and boxers.

"You're the one who wanted the fucking heated seats," Louis muttered, scrambling into the backseat anyway.

"It feel good on my bum." Harry stated, pulling his shirt off. Louis tugged his pants off, adding them to the ever growing pile of clothing on the floor.

"Babe, do the think- with your mouth." Louis urged, tossing his shirt off. Harry raised an eyebrow, confused.

"You know...where you-you put it in your mouth," Louis stammered, his dick aching hard against his stomach.

"You mean a blowjob?" Harry deadpanned. Louis nodded. Harry stared at him, dumbfounded that he forgot the name of his second favorite thing next to Harry.

"Shut the fuck up, I'm horny as hell," Louis whined. Harry shook his head, ducking his head down to lick the tip of Louis' dick.

"Shit, yeah," Louis gasped, burying his hands in Harry's curls. Harry took more of Louis' into his mouth, relaxing his jaw and swirling his tongue around.

"O-oh my god," Louis moaned, his hands flying to the lovely boy between his legs hair.

Louis was very vocal during sexual activity.

Harry hummed around his boyfriend. Louis massaged Harry's head, trying to resist the urge to buck up into his mouth. Harry bobbed up and down on Louis' length, the tip hitting the back of his throat each time. Louis felt Harry's throat contract around him, this time not able to control his hips as they snapped upwards. Harry moaned around him, his hands on Louis' thighs.

Harry loved sucking cock, both of them knew it.

He could probably get off purely from Louis' dick in his mouth if he really tried.

"Fuck Harry," Louis groaned, his eyes rolling back in his head. Harry pulled off to kitten lick at the slit, delicately (if it was possible to delicately suck cock) scooping up the beading precome with the tip of his tongue.

Louis shivered, his skin heated and small beads of sweat forming. He continued to lick fat stripes at his tip, before taking him back between his lips, letting his teeth barely graze the skin. Louis let out a low moan, his hips bucking up. Harry didn't stop Louis from fucking into his mouth, holding back his gag reflex as Louis repeatedly bucked into the back of his throat. Louis was so close, his orgasm was seconds away at most and Harry could tell.

He pulled off with an obnoxious pop, a trail of saliva stretching between his lips and Louis' leaking cock just as the older boy's vision began to spot out.

"Does this count as road head?" Harry questioned, his expression dead serious. Louis stared at him. His boyfriend was an idiot.

"Harry, what even...what the fuck?" he sputtered, his dick twisting when the cool air mixed with the saliva around him.

"Well does it?" Harry pushed, his eyebrows knitted together.

"I-I don't know, why would you even...who cares?" Louis scoffed, exasperated by his boyfriend's stupidity.

"I do, I have to keep track of how many times I've given you road head. I document it." Harry said like it was the most obvious thing on the planet.  
"Why? You've given it to me enough that we're lucky I haven't crashed the car yet, that's all I need to know," Louis said breathily, his cock starting to throb painfully from lack of attention.

"Exactly, I need to see how many times I can do it before you kill us." Harry replied.

"Harry, you're so dumb," Louis said, genuinely astounded.

"That's not very nice. I don't want you to fuck me anymore." Harry pouted, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

"Your cock says otherwise," Louis said, gesturing to Harry's pulsing red erection that was flush against his stomach.

"David doesn't know what he wants." Harry huffed.

"You did not just fucking use the name."

"You never let me use the name."

"We don't talk about the name."

"David doesn't appreciate your rudeness." Harry stated, kicking Louis lightly in the shin.

"If you keep talking about your dick in the third person I will never have sex with you again," Louis threatened.

"Fine, David and I will get on just fine with Drake and Sami." Harry said, turning his nose in the air.

"What the...who the...fuck," Louis stammered, shaking his head. Harry rolled his eyes, waving his hands in the air slightly.

"You did not name your hands," Louis said, almost whined actually.

"I named all my body parts thank you." Harry stated, looking at Louis smugly. Louis found it all kind of hot, really. Not the fact that Harry named his body parts, but that he was weird enough to do so. He said nothing, just nudged Harry down onto his back until the older boy hovered over him in the backseat of the car.

"God, why do I love you?" Louis breathed, pressing his lips to Harry's. Harry bent his head upwards to chase Louis' lips as he pulled away, his hands roaming up and down the older boy's bare back.

"I'm impatient, fuck me already." Harry muttered, Louis just staring down at him.

Louis didn't protest, but sat up to stretch his arms and get Harry's cherry flavored lube out of the glove compartment. The younger boy's eyes lit up at the sight of the small bottle.

"Hey, you remembered," he exclaimed excitedly.

"How could I forget, you've only put it on me seven hundred times so you can 'taste my bitter personality' while you suck me off on the highway." Harry giggled, his expression one a 2 year old would wear if someone made a funny face.

Louis couldn't help but smile fondly, perched lightly on Harry thighs as he drizzled some of the lube over his fingers.

"I don't need a lot of prep, I used Kimberley while you were in the shower." Harry stated, trying to lift himself up so his ass was higher but just looking ridiculous. "/Don't/," Louis growled, easily slipping his index finger into Harry's tight heat. "But it felt so good, she's the pink dildo you got me for my birthday, had her all the way up imagining it-" Harry started to babble, cutting off into a high pitch moan when Louis slapped his ass hard. "Maybe I'd be interested in your one-man sex escapades, but you lost me at Kimberley," Louis muttered, pushing a second finger past Harry's rim. "Is it because it's a girl name? Are you jelly my dear Louis? Yoy know vagina scares me it's gross." Harry said, tilting his head to the side with a lopsided grin. "No, it's because you don't name your fucking dildos," Louis retorted, crooking his fingers to brush Harry's prostate and hopefully shut him up. "They need names, it makes them feel-/ahhh/-useless if they don't have names." Harry stated, moaning in between his words.

"Shut up, please," Louis muttered, bending Harry's legs at the knee so he could settle between them more comfortably. "But you need to know the importance of the situation." Harry replied, pushing back on Louis' fingers. "You can explain the importance when we're not /fucking/, Harry," Louis replied, adding a third finger and watching Harry's mouth fall open blissfully. "Fine fine Mr. Sexy." Harry grumbled, little /uh, uh, uh's/ coming out of his mouth. Louis grinned in accomplishment, angling his fingers to hit Harry's prostate as he thrusts them in and out. "Fuck /fuck/ yes, ok. Get your duck inside me." Harry whined, his eyes screwed shut.

"My..." Louis started, before deciding not to question it. He bent down to kiss Harry's jaw lightly before pulling out his fingers and sitting back to slick up his cock.

"Hurry," Harry whimpered, growing incredibly impatient, but really he always is.

"Don't play the fucking patience card on me, I've been listening to you talk about naming inanimate objects for ten minutes," Louis said, drizzling the lube over his length. "God you're so /normal/." Harry groaned, throwing his head back. Louis shrugged, positioning himself to hover above Harry. "Get the fuck in me." Harry demanded, spreading his legs wider. "Working on it, babe," Louis said, wiggling closer so his cock was at Harry's entrance. "Not hard enough." Harry huffed. Louis rolled his eyes, pushing into Harry slowly. 'Finally." Harry moaned, his hands moving to Louis' back. "No touching, that's punishment for talking my ear off," Louis muttered, slowly pushing in and out once. "Fuck you and your stupid normalness," Harry cursed, digging his nails into Louis' shoulders as he bottoms out. Louis huffed, wrenching Harry's arms away from him and pinning them above his head, pulling out and thrusting back in with more force. "Fuck," Harry groaned, his eyes rolling back in his head as Louis picked up a steady pace. Louis chewed the inside of his cheek, bending his head to lick into Harry's open mouth.

Harry moaned into the older boy's mouth, trying to move his arms into the boy's hair but Louis still had them pinned.

"Wanna touch you," Harry whimpered, his wrists wiggling in Louis' grip. "Too bad darling." Louis grunted, shifting forward to get a better angle. Harry whined, biting his lip to hold back his noises. "I don't like you very much right now, you didn't even come in my mouth and now you're not letting me touch you. Those are two of my favorite things /ever/." Harry complained, trying again to get out of Louis' hold. "You took your mouth off me before I could come to talk about your road head documentation," Louis argued, his words breathy and slightly choked. "Well I still blame you." Harry pouted, his bottom lip poked out ridiculous amount. Louis scoffed. They weren't very good at public car sex. "I could just pull out and make you wait till we get home." Louis threatened. "Louis," Harry whined, shaking his head fast. "Thats what I thought." Louis muttered, thrusting sharply into the boy. Harry's mouth fell open, a low moan ripping through his throat as Louis continued to pound into him.

"Fuck you cunt I'm gonna come." Harry groaned. "Then quit talking and come," Louis snapped back, his thrusts becoming weak and sloppy. "Let me touch David then," Harry whined, opening and closing his hands as he tried to wiggle his arms again. Louis shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut when he felt Harry clench around him ridiculously tight. He never came before Harry, it was like an unspoken rule. "Louis," Harry whimpered, pushing himself down on Louis. Louis cut him some slack, mostly because he was about to come himself. He released one of Harry's wrists to slip his own hand between them. Louis would have grabbed the lube to make it easier to jack him off but he was to close to coming and just need to push Harry over the edge. His cock was slick enough from precome anyway. It only took three good pumps to make him spill into Louis' fist with a throaty moan.

Louis came not a minute after, filling up the curly haired boy. "Mm, I love you," Harry whispered as he came down from his high, his eyes shut. "I love you too," Louis replied, kissing Harry gently.

"You know who else I love?" Harry asked, opening his glassy eyes. "Who?" Louis asked fondly pushing a stray curl out of the boy's eyes. "Victoria," Harry said bluntly, making Louis cock an eyebrow. "That's your dick. Get it? David and Victoria?"

"Please shut the fuck up." Louis groaned, bowing his head down into Harry's shoulders. "Why do you get the guy name, anyway?" Louis muttered after a moment of silence. Harry smiled cockly before he answered. "'Cause m'taller," he said. "But I top." Louis argued. "But you're /short/," Harry responded, as if Louis was a complete dumbass and his argument was totally valid. "I'm going to kick your ass." Louis threatened. "Hit me, baby," Harry muttered, shutting his eyes and pulling Louis tighter against his chest. "One more time." Louis sang softly, making Harry chuckle. "That was stupid, you're not even funny," Harry said after a moment, earning himself a smack. "Ow," Harry pouted, pouting his bottom lip. "That's what you get," Louis said. "When you let your heart win." Harry sang, smirking at Louis. Louis sat up and pushed him to the floor. "Your abusive." Harry whined.

"I like it," He added.

"Oh, is that how it's gonna be then?" Louis said cocking an eyebrow. Harry nodded, sitting up slightly. Louis flicked him on the bicep. "What was that for?" Harry asked. "Because you're stupid and I love you," Louis replied, bending down to peck Harry's messy curls. "Love you too." Harry muttered fondly.

There was another moment of silence, the two of them only staring at one another like they were the only people that existed. Harry cleared his throat, breaking the peaceful quiet.

"So how about those bunk beds?"


End file.
